Of course, going to Florida with the label of ‘single’ comes with added bonus conversations with Mom’s friends and neighbors.
This is a conversation that took place about four years ago between me and one of Mom’s friends:
“Oh, so you’re single?” Mom’s friend asked me, “Where do you live?”
“Outside of Washington, DC,” I answered.
“Well, I have a perfect man for you to meet. My son lives just north of Baltimore.”
“Well, I actually live on the Virginia side of DC, not the Maryland side. Baltimore is a good one and a half hours away.”
“Aaah, what’s one and a half hours at your age? You shouldn’t be too picky,” she answered.
“I’m only 27,” I replied.
“At 27, I was married with two kids. Anyway, that’s perfect; my son is 41.”
“Thanks, but no, thanks,” I said. “I like to date men who live close to me and who are nearer my age.”
“Okay, honey, but I’m telling you, you’re passing up on a winner. He’s a blank canvas; he’s never had a girlfriend before.”
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Chapter 12; Part 3 - Visitors
When I first started visiting Mom and Dad several years ago, I was single. This is how Mom used to introduce me.
“Neighbor, this is my single daughter. She’s visiting from Washington, DC for a week,” Mom would say.
“Nice to meet you, single daughter,” Neighbor would reply. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Mom,” I would say later, “it’s insulting the way you introduce me as your single daughter.”
“Well, everyone knows that in addition to my son, I have two daughters – one single and one married to a wonderful man with three adorable children. So that’s how I always refer to you. They wouldn’t know which daughter I was talking about if I just said your name,” Mom answered.
“Well, I don’t like it. Please try to introduce me with a name next time.”
The next time we met one of her friends, this is how the conversation went:
Mom: Friend, I want to introduce you to my daughter, Amy.
Friend: Nice meeting you, Amy. Are you the single daughter or the married one with the wonderful husband and three beautiful children?
“Neighbor, this is my single daughter. She’s visiting from Washington, DC for a week,” Mom would say.
“Nice to meet you, single daughter,” Neighbor would reply. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Mom,” I would say later, “it’s insulting the way you introduce me as your single daughter.”
“Well, everyone knows that in addition to my son, I have two daughters – one single and one married to a wonderful man with three adorable children. So that’s how I always refer to you. They wouldn’t know which daughter I was talking about if I just said your name,” Mom answered.
“Well, I don’t like it. Please try to introduce me with a name next time.”
The next time we met one of her friends, this is how the conversation went:
Mom: Friend, I want to introduce you to my daughter, Amy.
Friend: Nice meeting you, Amy. Are you the single daughter or the married one with the wonderful husband and three beautiful children?
Friday, August 6, 2010
Chapter 12; Part 2 - Visitors
The first thing Dad asks every year when I arrive is, “What was the weather when you left?”
“I don’t know, Dad. It was cold,” I say.
“How cold?”
“I don’t know. Very cold.”
“Was there snow on the ground?” Dad asks.
“No, no snow.”
“How about ice?”
“No, no ice either,” I reply.
“You know it’s in the seventies here.”
“Yes, Dad, I can feel that.”
“I don’t know, Dad. It was cold,” I say.
“How cold?”
“I don’t know. Very cold.”
“Was there snow on the ground?” Dad asks.
“No, no snow.”
“How about ice?”
“No, no ice either,” I reply.
“You know it’s in the seventies here.”
“Yes, Dad, I can feel that.”
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Chapter 12; Part 1 - Visitors
At some point or another during most retirees’ winters in Florida, they get visitors – children, grandchildren, nieces, and nephews from ‘up North.’ I’m always one of them; I visit Mom and Dad every year.
The funny thing about visiting Florida in the winter is you leave your city or town in the Northeast, where the average age and the average temperature are both around 38. A little more than two hours later you arrive in Florida to find that the temperature and the age of the people have both climbed about 40 points.
The funny thing about visiting Florida in the winter is you leave your city or town in the Northeast, where the average age and the average temperature are both around 38. A little more than two hours later you arrive in Florida to find that the temperature and the age of the people have both climbed about 40 points.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Chapter 11; Part 8 - Trips
After they came back from the cruise, Mom called to tell me all about it. “We had a wonderful time and the food was delicious – I ate veal parmesan, fabulous fish, and oh, the portions; it was never-ending. The shopping was wonderful too. I got such bargains – a handbag for $10 and a pair of silver earrings for $15. Oh, and the weather was beautiful too. It was always about 77 degrees.”
“What did you do every day?” I asked.
“We did so much. When we were at sea, we sat by the pool, and played shuffleboard, and walked around the track. When we were docked, we went shopping. And at night we saw some wonderful shows.”
“Mom, if I didn’t know where you went, from your description of the food, weather, pool, and the activities, I would have thought you were describing a week at Harbor View,” I said.
“Oh yeah, speaking of Harbor View, that reminds me of one more thing about the cruise,” she added, “there were lots of old people on board, too.”
“What did you do every day?” I asked.
“We did so much. When we were at sea, we sat by the pool, and played shuffleboard, and walked around the track. When we were docked, we went shopping. And at night we saw some wonderful shows.”
“Mom, if I didn’t know where you went, from your description of the food, weather, pool, and the activities, I would have thought you were describing a week at Harbor View,” I said.
“Oh yeah, speaking of Harbor View, that reminds me of one more thing about the cruise,” she added, “there were lots of old people on board, too.”
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Chapter 11; Part 7 - Trips
Mom, of course, also talked about the cruise with her friends. One evening at dinner, Mom brought up the subject of the food on the cruise.
“Uumm, this dinner is delicious,” Mom said to her dining companions at Antonio’s, “I hope the food on the cruise is just as good.”
“Oh, speaking of food on the cruise, Phyllis called up the travel agent and they told her that the Captain’s Dinner is probably going to be the second night of the cruise,” Flo replied.
“Well that’s a relief,” Mom said. “I’m glad it’s not on the last night. My new evening gown should still fit by day two. Last year, Sylvia and Susan went on a cruise and they said by the end of the week, they couldn’t zip up any of their clothes.”
“Uumm, this dinner is delicious,” Mom said to her dining companions at Antonio’s, “I hope the food on the cruise is just as good.”
“Oh, speaking of food on the cruise, Phyllis called up the travel agent and they told her that the Captain’s Dinner is probably going to be the second night of the cruise,” Flo replied.
“Well that’s a relief,” Mom said. “I’m glad it’s not on the last night. My new evening gown should still fit by day two. Last year, Sylvia and Susan went on a cruise and they said by the end of the week, they couldn’t zip up any of their clothes.”
Friday, March 19, 2010
Chapter 11; Part 6 - Trips
Sometimes getaways from Harbor View last even longer than a weekend. This past year the ‘Young in Spirit’ club organized a weeklong cruise. Twenty-eight couples signed up for a seven-day journey to the Caribbean.
“Mom, I can’t believe you’re going on a cruise. Most people would be more than happy to change places with you where you are now. Being in Florida for four months is already a vacation,” I said to her one day on the phone.
“I know, but since we’re already down here, we didn’t have to pay for airfare to fly to the cruise port in Florida. It was too good a deal to pass up,” she replied.
Mom talked about her cruise for about a month prior to their departure, and of course began laying out her clothes for it weeks in advance, too.
“Oh, I don’t know what to do, I need a new dress for the formal Captain’s Dinner on the cruise,” she said to me on one occasion.
“Why don’t you wear the dress you wore to Cousin Linda’s wedding last year?” I asked.
“I can’t. I left it at home in Pennsylvania. Who knew I’d need a formal dress down here?”
“But you knew back home that you were going on a cruise this winter. You should have just brought it with you,” I informed her.
“Okay, I’ll be honest with you. It doesn’t fit anymore. I gained four pounds last year in Florida and probably at least two more this year.”
“Mom, what about all of the walking you’ve been doing?” I asked her.
“I guess it doesn’t make up for all of the dinners I’ve been eating out,” she admitted.
“Mom, I can’t believe you’re going on a cruise. Most people would be more than happy to change places with you where you are now. Being in Florida for four months is already a vacation,” I said to her one day on the phone.
“I know, but since we’re already down here, we didn’t have to pay for airfare to fly to the cruise port in Florida. It was too good a deal to pass up,” she replied.
Mom talked about her cruise for about a month prior to their departure, and of course began laying out her clothes for it weeks in advance, too.
“Oh, I don’t know what to do, I need a new dress for the formal Captain’s Dinner on the cruise,” she said to me on one occasion.
“Why don’t you wear the dress you wore to Cousin Linda’s wedding last year?” I asked.
“I can’t. I left it at home in Pennsylvania. Who knew I’d need a formal dress down here?”
“But you knew back home that you were going on a cruise this winter. You should have just brought it with you,” I informed her.
“Okay, I’ll be honest with you. It doesn’t fit anymore. I gained four pounds last year in Florida and probably at least two more this year.”
“Mom, what about all of the walking you’ve been doing?” I asked her.
“I guess it doesn’t make up for all of the dinners I’ve been eating out,” she admitted.
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